Dear Longberry,

With spring just around the corner, I need to lose weight. Do you have any weight loss suggestions?

Lydia Robinson

Dear Lydia,

First off, are you fat? If you are, don’t worry about it. Every other American is fat these days including myself and nearly all of my friends. But if you have your heart set on being skinny, stop drinking sodas and juices and switch to drinking good ole spring water. Try changing one thing at a time this way you won’t set yourself up for failure but foolishly thinking you are going to drop 10 pounds in a week. And one more thing. Walking for a mile or so a few times a week will do wonders for you!!

LBBC

Dear Longberry,

My girlfriend has this condition where she shakes and trembles a lot. She is a really cool person and I love her but it really freaks me out. Help!

Phil Jennings

Dear Phil,

Do you like a good martini? If so, prepare the drink as normal. When the recipe calls for you to shake it, hand it over to your girl and let her hook it up for you. You should have the most intensely shaken martini the world has ever had! We must find ways to make uncomfortable situations in life okay. Everybody has something off with them. Fro instance, my eyebrows look like to caterpillars making love on the middle of my forehead. But instead of making it a problem, the chicks think it’s kinda hot so.. Roll with it baby!!!!!!!!!!!

LBBC

Dear Longberry,

I work with this girl that seems to make my job very difficult. She never offers help and always provides resistance to whatever I do! I love my job and don’t want to lose it. How would you handle this?

Danny Stanley

Dear Danny,

I have great news for you. She likes you! When I was in kindergarten, I liked this girl but I was too young and confused to communicate it. So, I would pull here hair and tease her. You know, the same crap boys have done since the beginning of time. Instead of reacting negatively, wink at her and blow kisses when she is being difficult, kill her with kindness. You see my friend, love is but a game and we are all players even the ladies. If you play your cards right, your enemy may become your best friend….